It’s kind of weird writing this blog post when I haven’t even fixed the entire site yet, but I kind of don’t want people to go here with just one post when this finally opens.

So when this is finally open, and you’re reading this: hello, welcome to the website.

Or, as my friend Kai say, Adele style: hello from the other side. 😛

I was supposed to have another WordPress site that I also never launched, because maintaining too many blogs is hard. And it was supposed to be a secret blog in the sense that it’s totally not connected to my other (real) name. But because we’re not doing that anymore.

Anyway, here’s one of the posts I wrote in that never-released blog:

Today the ball is almost about to roll, meaning I am finally taking that step I never took in everything I wrote in the past — send it to an editor and get it fixed even further. Everything I’ve ever written in the past were either hidden in my hard drive, or parts of it were posted online, with the disclaimer: Barely edited. Please excuse me.

So now, I feel like my writer self is maturing because I actually took that step. Yay.

I’m excited and scared, and I know there’s still a lot more work ahead. I’m more excited, really, but I can’t help but think of those little things — and here comes the writing gremlins, as Brene Brown said in her book — what if what I wrote isn’t good enough? What if it’s utter trash? What if people don’t like it? (Believe me, I wrestled with those gremlins all week last week, and that’s why I couldn’t write. Argh)

But I’m shutting those gremlins in a box, and I will move forward. Because it’s really about time, and it can’t be that bad, right?

I just really want to post something here (Because, shiny new blog! Let’s write more!). The ball really starts rolling tomorrow. Or, actually, Monday. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s picking up speed now. 🙂

I wrote this in January 2014, back when I had just sent Fall Like Rain to my editor. It was my first time to have a work of fiction edited and it felt damn scary because it felt like I was sending my child somewhere so they could be corrected or set right. Which…is really the case.

That’s two years ago and I kind of miss it. That’s why you need to write faster, Ana.

And there. Kind of fun to look back. Now I better start doing something about this site so it can be out before my birthday.